How to Host a Women’s Circle

And understanding the art of the container

10 min readMar 15, 2021

Leading women’s circles was something that I naturally stepped into during my time with family and friends. I relished the art of hosting women in my home, serving curated food and drinks I knew they’d enjoy, and bringing up thought-evoking topics that would help unplug them from the outside world. I loved offering a safe space for women to be held and celebrated.

Luckily for me, I was able to integrate circles into my business, but the circles aren’t just what keeps my business afloat — the circles keep me afloat.

When a circle is held correctly, every participant feels seen and heard. There’s a transformative energy that arises, and a level of connection reached that we don’t get with others during the busyness of everyday life. It’s a place that we can psychologically return to when we feel burnt out or lonely. A site that brings back feelings of warmth, comfort, and togetherness when the outside world has harshly affected us.

The truth is — everyone we meet is a mirror. When we spend time with our community, we learn about what makes us laugh more, what makes us smile more, what triggers are pain or sadness, and what makes us tick. We discover the depths of our wounds through the stories of others, and we revel in triumph when we realize how much growth we’ve accomplished. A circle is one big mirror, and it is up to us to use it as a tool, just like the spa days or gym memberships. The circle is wellness.

So, how do you lead (or join) a circle?

For this article’s context, I will focus on women+’s circles as that is the space I feel most comfortable hosting as a facilitator, but these circles can be formed to include anyone your heart desires.

Defining Your Circle’s Purpose

First, it’s important to remember that circles are a highly energetic and sensitive space, where participants come to unload, replenish and reconnect. If you feel the pull to lead circle, it is recommended that you set intentions beforehand to assure the circle is managed and created with purpose and love. Ask yourself:

Why do I feel called to lead circle?
What am I looking to get out of leading this circle?
What do I aim for others to get out of this circle?
How do I want to feel during this circle?
How do I want others to feel during this circle?
Who do I plan to open this circle up to?

Aligning the Details

Once you feel aligned with your ’why,’ focus on the nitty-gritty of executing the actual circle.

How many attendees are invited? I recommend starting small, between 4–6 people, and building from there if you are new to facilitating.
Where will the circle be held? You’ll want to find a space, usually in someone’s home or in a cozy offsite room large enough to fit all guests seated in a circle on the floor. Make sure there is enough space in the middle of the room for the altar and comfortable floor seating for all guests and that space is indoors and closed off from outside noise or activity. The area in which circle is held is vital to creating “the container,” making people feel safer and more relaxed during this practice.
Choose a date and time. This can be centered around the moon’s cycle or other rites, which we will touch base on later, so if you are unsure still, keep reading.
Will there be food served? If yes, decide if this will be a potluck or if you will provide the food.
Is this a pay-to-attend gathering? If so, decide on your cost, somewhere between $15-$30 depending on if you are offering food or tools/gifts that guests can take home. These gatherings can also be free, with each guest contributing portions of the circle (food, flowers, location, etc.) or be donation-based. Trust your gut and decide on the format that works for you.

Invitations and Setting Expectations

Before you draft the message, social media posts, or flyers to spread the word about your circle, it’s important that you also spend time reflecting on the guests you desire to attend. Meditate and imagine the guests that would get the most out of this circle and envision them RSVPing. The people you envision don’t have to be people you know. They can be “women who are craving sisterhood,” “men who are seeking brotherhood,” or “people who want to channel the new moon’s energy together.” Setting intentions for those who are coming will help you call in those who will make this circle more meaningful for everyone involved.

When curating the invite, keep it personal. Guests can feel when the circle feels more like an “event,” but they want to feel seen. Circle is about deepening relationships and having supportive conversations that help grow the collective. Make sure this, and your intentions for gathering, come through in your invite.

When you have your finalized RSVP list, send them a preparation guide. This can include:

What to wear so they feel most comfortable.
What to bring, if there is an offering, or if this will be a potluck-style gathering.
What they will get from your time together.
Have them alert you if there are any food, oil, or aroma-related allergies.
Confirm the date, time, and location of the gathering.
The importance of being on time.
Reassurance of what can they can expect from your time together.

Circle Set Up

Now is the time to begin outlining the flow of your circle. Using your intentions as a guide, choose the circle topic that speaks to you. Here are a few themes that have resonated with our community:

Moon Circles: Usually held during the new moon or full moon, these are great for channeling the moon’s energy and especially powerful for working with the divine feminine.
Self-Love Circles: This topic is a great way to explore how we implement self-love into our daily lives and highlight the differences between self-love and self-care.
Manifestation Circles: These circles are centered around adjusting one’s frequency to align with the life they intend to manifest, harnessing one’s understanding of the Law of Attraction. These can also be intertwined with themes of accountability, ego, and affirmations/mantras.
Wound Healing Circles: Wound healing circles can focus on mother wounds, father wounds, and sister/brother/sibling wounds. These wounds are often generational, passed down from our ancestors, and require additional vulnerability and exploration to heal them. As they say, the scars may not be your fault, but healing yourself is your responsibility. These gatherings are fantastic for more experienced circle attendees or during holidays when there is believed to have more intimate access to our deceased ancestors.

Now that you’ve decided on your topic, you’ll outline your circle to ensure a natural, ceremonial flow. Great circles always have:

A Meaningful Opening: welcoming guests into the space with things like introductions or a grounding meditation or visualization
A Guided Body: covering the theme or topic of the circle, sharing agreements for the circle flow, open sharing portion
A Closing Ritual: Closing circle is just a powerful as the opening. I always enjoy ending circle with a ritual to symbolize the transformation and exchange of energy during our time together.

Prepare the Container

Setting up the space for circles is one of my utmost favorite parts about hosting them. You want to ensure the area that circle will take part in is relaxing and welcoming, bringing immediate ease to those joining. If things feel unorganized or distracting, guests will be pulled out of the experience and are less likely to be truly present during the circle experience. Here’s a checklist of items to help get you started:

Altar: The Altar (or Hearth) is the center of the room. This is to honor those before us and those attending with items that represent earth’s elements. Feel free to set out a blanket, spread out oracle cards, and make it unique to your gathering — do what feels right!
Seating: Everyone will sit in a circle around the altar. Assemble floor seating (cushions, back jacks, etc.), making sure that each seat is equally situated so that every guest can make eye contact with each other easily, with no one having to lean backward or forward
Ambiance: create an intimate space with warm lighting using things like candles or colored lights
Cleansing: Ensure the space is freed of any negative energies that may be floating about. Use sage, palo santo, or any desired cleansing herbs or tinctures that speak to your gathering’s purpose.
Talking stick or crystal: This is a very important tool and should be introduced to the group with love. Be sure that everyone knows not to speak over whoever is speaking, the holder of this item, and takes the time to actively listen and hold space for them while they open up to the group.
Other: Make sure you have everything you need on hand to carry out your ritual
Food & Beverage: Arrange these items away from the circle as to not distract from the gathering.

Closing Circle and After Circle Reflections

Although the ritual signifies the end of the circle, it’s ideal to invite everyone to enjoy each other’s company over some refreshments. This gives the attendees a chance to build bonds with one another while slowly transitioning from the experience of circle back into the rhythm of the outside world. Leaving the container of the circle can be jarring, and so this “buffer” time is more important than you may think.

After everyone has left, it’s good to take some time to reflect on the gathering. Note: this does not need to take place immediately after the last person has left. You will also feel a shift in your energies so I recommend listening to your body and spending time recharging in your own way before answering these prompts:

How do you think the circle went?
How did you feel during circle?
How do you think others felt during circle?
Did you receive any feedback?
What would do differently next time?
Did the circle fulfill your original intentions for hosting it?

Attending Circle

Out of all the women who join our circles, the majority do not feel the urge to lead circle, and that is just how it’s intended to be. Don’t be fooled; we are all capable of facilitating circles. However, we must acknowledge our equality in circle. You do not need to be the facilitator to be important. The circle is nothing without the individuals who show up, and the energy you bring is vital to the success of a circle. And remember, if you are facilitating, it is even more essential for you to attend circles where you can be held deeply, truthfully, and energetically.

Is a Virtual Circle Still Effective?

Yes. If there is one major takeaway to acknowledge from the last year and a half, it is that we crave human connection and thrive when we’re part of a community. If circle is being called to be held in a virtual space, that is one hundred percent OK. Here are a few ways I adapt our virtual circles in the tech space:

Cap your guest list. I’ve found that circles with over ten participants don’t leave much time or room for each guest to take the floor (if they choose) and fully release when held virtually. We like to cap our virtual circles to 6 people so that 2 hours is plenty of time to ground ourselves, reflect on the reason for gathering, open the circle for discussion, and participate in a closing ritual.
Create an ambiance. The same way you would adorn the circle venue with candles, flowers, an altar, or other items should be the same way you set up your space for the virtual gatherings. When guests look at your screen, they should feel transported to circle and loved for the preparation taken by the host.
Help your attendees prepare. A few days leading up to the gathering, send your guests a preparation list. Maybe they’ll need a pen and paper, tea, a candle, or other items that will help make the experience that much better. You can also include your agreements in this preparation packet, managing their expectations of what this circle will entail and ensuring everyone is in the right headspace as they dial into the call.
Follow Up. I like to prepare oracle cards for my guests, and I have them all channel their thoughts during a card pull before circle ends. On behalf of each guest, I pull a card, share it with the group, and then follow up shortly after via text or email with a more detailed explanation of the card (usually pulled from the deck’s guidebook). This moment allows the host to connect individually with the guest, deepening their relationship with one another.

If the idea of hosting or attending a circle speaks to you, and you’d like to experience it for yourself, click this link to subscribe to our Wanderlette newsletter. Every month, our members receive a helpful guide for rituals and ceremonies to suit the season, as well as an update of any availabilities that we have for Wanderlette sister circles.